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Dreams of a different past

vrijdag, januari 02, 2009


We walk across a frozen barren wasteland covered in frozen weeds. I say we because I think you were there. I’m not sure anymore but I distinctly remember not being alone. The dog rushed past us in a mad dash for a target that would perpetually elude him. I wasn’t sure what he had seen but it had him all excited. Winter had colours for breakfast and so around lunchtime everything around us had found it’s place on the greyscale that the world had become. The whole landscape around us was telling us that it was cold but for some reason my body didn’t register the fact that my toes were slowly solidifying into flesh-flavoured icicles. Our every breath brought forth a white plume, winter sucking out a tiny bit of warmth with every exhalation. There was an undefined shape on the horizon that we seemed to be walking towards to. I can’t remember for the life of me what it was. We didn’t say a word all the way over there. It was not because we were having issues, or at least I don’t remember the atmosphere between us being hostile. For my part the emptiness of the frozen wasteland had seeped into my head and had thoroughly cleansed it of any concrete thoughts. All that lived within me were abstract concepts and pure emotions, slowed down to the pace of an ancient turtle due to the brutal cold. Maybe you were pre-occupied with motherly worries about everything and nothing, I won’t pretend to know what was on your mind. I think you knew the way, knew where you were going. Clearly you’d walked there before. Or maybe I only thought so because I felt like I was following you, trusting that you knew where to go. You know how people get when they allow themselves to completely depend on someone else. It’s so comforting to know that there’s somebody there to take care of things for you. Suddenly I saw, in the midst of all the white and grey, one vibrant lively yellow flower covered in frost trying it’s hardest not to be crushed. I stopped and pointed at it, hardly managing to force a “look mom” through my lips. You stopped too, walked over to me, stood behind me towering over me with your hands on my shoulders trying to find what I was pointing at. When you finally saw the flower you said: “Beautiful, isn’t it? No matter the circumstances, life doesn’t just give up. It never gives up.” You tussled my hair, put your arm around my shoulder and dragged me along to continue our journey to nowhere in particular.

opgehoest door Sicyon
17:07

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