dinsdag, oktober 28, 2008

He always slept closest to the wall. This one sentence would most accurately characterise the whole dynamic of their relationship, he later realised. He always slept closest to the wall, often laying on his side, to give her all the extra space she normally enjoyed had he not been there and always giving her the easy way out for a toilet visit. He would spend long nightly hours awake, agonizing over his uncomfortable position but all the while still enjoying her warmth and presence. His raging hormones would urge his mind to ignore the fatigue, to ignore the lack of circulation in his arm. Undoubtedly this is an unfair portrayal of the real dynamic of their relationship. In a sense their dynamic was very much akin to the most basic and naturally instinctive dynamic between man and woman. He was so happy to have someone to take care off, someone to nurture. It gave him purpose, it gave him energy and most of all it gave him a positive sense of self. This instant gratification in the form of happiness gave him all the needed motivation to take this concept to the extreme, to essentially become a non-entity, a drone serving the queen bee. In a sense it was a self-powering downward spiral. At first she would enjoy being cared for, instinctively feeling happy about that love and support but gradually it derailed. Instead of developing a strong personality in a growing and maturing relationship, he faded away into non-existence. He became an overbearing caretaker, smothering a flame which was in dire need of air, jumping through hoops for her which she wasn’t even really holding up. The rising water level didn’t seem to give her a tangible clue as to what the reason was for the sinking ship. She was largely ignorant of what gave her all these feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Either that or she miserably failed to communicate her feelings. At this point in time, most young people will act alike. They will break rank, they will panic and flee. Take the easy way out and never ever look back until you’ve surely escaped the treacherous grip of the post-relationship quagmire. All in all, what happened, was predestined. Their personalities, their deepest priorities and needs, were misaligned. The only thing that kept the whole charade going for so long were funny hormones, the whole being in love bit. For two young kids, experiencing for the first time the power of love and the happiness it can bring, to blatantly ignore the fact that they are wrong for each other, is the most common thing of all.

He always slept closest to the wall. Only in the most honest of moods would he quietly admit to himself that he slept there because in reality he was just afraid of falling out of the bed were he to sleep on the other side.

opgehoest door Sicyon



Anonymous Anoniem said...

When will he stop faking is the time he starts enjoying his journey of love. He seems enjoy being an non-existence image of Great Lover to satisfy his poor heart/ ego. He would likely ends up resting his heart in an old mind and driven away by a young, unexperienced love later. Would he ever get rest? Only time can tell.

You will receive the bill with 10% discount later. Cheers.

Blogger Sicyon said...


Even though I'm pretty sure you are trying to stab a knife in my over-inflated ego and my ficticious self-image of a lover-de-luxe... I still thank you for you kind considerations and the time you took to write a comment which made me self-reflect and think.

Anonymous Anoniem said...

Oh, Rufi, Why should I stab a knife why you've already did?

Cheer up and take good care of yourself, ok?

Blogger ninest123 said...

louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin outlet, ugg boots, jordan shoes, tiffany jewelry, longchamp outlet, chanel handbags, michael kors, nike free, louis vuitton, longchamp, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, air max, nike air max, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry, kate spade outlet, tiffany and co, louboutin outlet, uggs on sale, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, sac longchamp, nike outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, nike roshe run, longchamp pas cher, ugg boots, louis vuitton, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, nike air max, replica watches, louis vuitton outlet, ralph lauren pas cher, louboutin shoes, louboutin pas cher, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, louboutin, air jordan pas cher, prada outlet, replica watches

Blogger ninest123 said...

new balance pas cher, vans pas cher, ralph lauren uk, burberry outlet online, coach outlet, kate spade handbags, lacoste pas cher, michael kors outlet, nike air max, burberry, oakley pas cher, hogan, nike free run uk, michael kors outlet, replica handbags, true religion jeans, michael kors, true religion jeans, hollister, converse pas cher, michael kors outlet, nike air max, timberland, mulberry, air force, ray ban pas cher, michael kors, michael kors outlet, hollister pas cher, ugg boots, sac guess, true religion outlet, nike blazer, true religion jeans, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, north face, michael kors, coach outlet, north face, nike roshe, lululemon, abercrombie and fitch, vanessa bruno, ray ban uk, coach purses, hermes, tn pas cher, michael kors, nike air max

Blogger ninest123 said...

valentino shoes, babyliss, p90x workout, ferragamo shoes, reebok shoes, nike roshe, nike trainers, bottega veneta, new balance, ray ban, vans, nike air max, nfl jerseys, baseball bats, chi flat iron, louboutin, lululemon, oakley, herve leger, north face outlet, nike huarache, ralph lauren, abercrombie and fitch, asics running shoes, nike air max, beats by dre, jimmy choo shoes, converse outlet, soccer shoes, celine handbags, soccer jerseys, giuseppe zanotti, hollister, mcm handbags, vans shoes, timberland boots, gucci, insanity workout, wedding dresses, longchamp, hollister, north face outlet, hollister, birkin bag, instyler, mac cosmetics, converse, ghd, iphone cases, mont blanc

Blogger ninest123 said...

ugg pas cher, thomas sabo, karen millen, swarovski, doudoune canada goose, canada goose outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, links of london, lancel, moncler, canada goose, moncler, louis vuitton, toms shoes, coach outlet, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, hollister, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, barbour jackets, supra shoes, bottes ugg, louis vuitton, ugg boots uk, moncler, replica watches, moncler, pandora charms, moncler, moncler outlet, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose, moncler, montre pas cher, pandora jewelry, canada goose, moncler, swarovski crystal, canada goose uk, barbour, wedding dresses, marc jacobs, pandora charms, canada goose, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

Blogger Zheng junxai5 said...

louis vuitton bags
kobe 10
tods outlet store
coach factory outlet
fitflop shoes
louboutin shoes
fit flops
cheap ray ban sunglasses
toms wedges
true religion outlet store
cheap jordans
coach outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
true religion jeans
beats by dre outlet
jordan retro 11
coach factory outlet online
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
oakley vault
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors outlet
longchamp handbags
beats by dr dre
kids lebron shoes
toms outlet
cheap jordan shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
rolex watches
coach outlet store online clearances
hermes birkin handbags
michael kors outlet online
michael kors purses
oakley sunglasses
louboutin shoes
ray bans
louis vuitton purses
ralph lauren outlet
giuseppe zanotti outlet

Blogger omar ali said...

Thanks for supplying this info


Een reactie posten

<< Home